This Love Came Back To Me
by themanemmaloves
Summary: This is sort of a sequel to Insomniac with a time and plot jump. It's been 6 months and the question remains the same - will Emma ever return to Storybrooke?


This Love Came Back To Me

_Orignially, I wanted to go on a murderuous rampage here but I realized I don't have the strength for that plus I don't wanna make you cry for your bday, Lana. So happy birthday, I hope you have an incredible day and I hope you like this._

* * *

Another long and tiring week has passed and Emma still hasn't returned home. It's been six months since she dissapeared. What were the chances that she will return anyway? That was the thing Killian wondered every day. The more the time passed the more he was losing every trace of hope he had left in him.

Plus, he wasn't doing much better. He smiled a bit more, or at least pretended to be happy from time to time. Like when he saw Henry and his grandparents, took Henry for walks played silly games with him or took him sailing... Sometimes he even made some stupid jokes excpecting it will make him laugh, because he was well aware that the lad was suffering a lot - he lost his mother for God's sake..

Every night Killian would still sit on his bed and think about her, think about how much he wanted her to be beside him. Every evening he would still go out to the docks and waited for her, desperately, the delusion that she will suddenly appear there never left his mind. Every morning he would wake up covered in sweat, terrified of his nightmares, whispering her name and would immideatly look around the room excpecting her to be there. And she _never was_. It tore him apart slowly, piece by piece, every day.

The only thing keeping him from a breakdown was the promise he made Emma. He promised her he will take care of her family while she is gone, that was the thing that pulled him back whenever he wanted to give up – family. Killian loved them and cared deeply for them, they were his family now too. He was a part of something. And he promised her he will take care of her family while she's gone. _He promised her_. And he was not going to fail her.

There were times when he would just stare at the sky and hope she magically returns. He wouldn't even care how it happened. He just wanted her back so he can see her one final time. To see her blonde hair light up the room... To see her gorgeous smile make everyone else smile too... To simply see her alive and well. She didn't even have to remember him, he just wanted to know she was safe. As long as she has her family she will be happy, and that's all Killian wanted for her – _happiness, _even if it wasn't with him.

Today, it was a dark and cold day in Storybrooke, with a preety good chance it was going to rain. The streets were empty and it was unusually quiet. Granny's was closed for today and that made the town seem even more lonely and sad.

Killian was lost in his own thoughts while wandering around the town, slowly approaching the forest. Since he found some sort of reassurance and comfort in going to places they went together, today he decided to go to the place where they went out one night to have a picnic, with just the two of them.

Once he finally arrived to the meadow, he sat down on the cold ground and glanced at the empty place beside him. His eyes lingered on the spot where Emma was sitting and he swore he could hear her laugh in that moment the same way she laughed after he made a dumb joke that day.

He remeberred how they talked _for hours. _Well mostly Emma, anyway.

* * *

He rememberred her leaning on his shoulder and his arm was wrapping firmly around her waist, without any intention of letting go. The cool breeze ran over them leaving chills on their exposed skin and had them move even closer to each other.

Emma's laughs soon became less and less frequent and Killian noticed the change in her voice. He knew something was wrong.

„_You seem a bit vexed. What is it Swan?" _

„_Nothing... It's just... It's not important."_

„_Hey... It cannot possibly be unimportant to either you or me if it makes you feel bad."_

She let out a deep sigh, followed by a forced quiet laugh, and then just pulled herself so close to Killian that she closed every little gap of space between them.

„_Killian, I'm scared."_

„_Of what?"_

„_All this author crap, and the darkness crap and the quite possible destruction of all heroes and their happy endings crap... I'm scared we're not going to win this one." _

„_There's something else to this then just us winning, isn't there, love?"_

She pulled her knees to her chest and held them tight. Her head fell on her arms and she let out a deep sigh. When she looked up, her eyes were filled with water and then she said:

„_What if I do go dark? What if I'm forced to it? I-"_

Her voice started breaking and Killian pulled them apart then gently turned her head towards his. Once he looked into her eyes, so sad, broken and scared, his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. He couldn't stand seeing her like this.

Not long ago, she was truly happy. Henry was doing well and was safe, her relationship with her parents was in place and the search for the author was nowhere near being what it became now.

She had Killian then, standing by her with her every step of the way, supporting her no matter what and now that was the only thing that didn't change.

Even when everything else fell apart, she still had him.

And now, their relationship was threatend as well.

Killian rememberred how he cupped her face and wiped the tear away with his thumb. She didn't want to cry, she sure as hell didn't want to be this terrified of losing herself and endangering more people she loves. But she couldn't hold it back anymore.

She was scared and she was tired of pretending that she is not. She was tired of pretending to be stronger then she actaully is.

Emma Swan carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, and there is only so much she can take. At the end of the day, she _does_ need someone who will listen to her, reassure her and hug her.

„_-I need you to promise me something."_

„_What is it?"_

„_If something happens, and I do go dark... Take Henry with you and run away as far as possible."_

„_Swan nothing is go-"_

„_Who knows what will happen? Who knows who will come after me? I am not going to put anyone else in danger on my account. Killian, please."_

His heart was tearing apart for her. Seeing her this scared... It broke him.

„_I promise... The lad will never be exposed to any harm on my watch. But I need you to promise me something too." _

She looked at him with a confused but relieved face.

„_What?"_

„_Never hesitate to come to me if you need me. I am __**always **__going to be there for you, whether you're scared, hurt, happy or simply want to be with me. I'm not letting you go through this, or anything, on your own. Alright, Swan?"_

She nodded, then gave him a teary smile and added:

„_I promise."_

He placed a gentle kiss to her forhead and hugged her after that. He held her for so long, enjoying every second of it, and he'd give anything to hold her like that again.

* * *

He'd give anything to relieve her of the pain she's probably in now...

But he couldn't.

Thinking about that night brought so many memories back to Killian. He was so scared that he'll lose her back then, and when he did, every bit of hope and light faded from his life.

He rememberred how his stomach twisted when she held that dagger above her head. His hands were shaking and he felt so much pressuare in his chest, he felt like he was going to explode. Ever since, new layers of pain, fear and sadness gathered inside him slowly, to the point where not even crying could make him feel any better or relieved.

If she ever comes back, he's never letting her go again. He was certain of that.

He layed down on the ground, the same way he did when she was beside him right here, in this same place, and closed his eyes. He started wondering what she was doing at that moment.

The wind was picking up and it looked like it was going to rain soon, but he didn't care. He just threw his arm underneath his head and tried to relax and focus on the happy memories.

What if one day he doesn't remember them? What if with time the memory of her touch fades away? What if one day, he'll wake up and won't be able to remember the sound of her laugh or her voice?

Killian has spent centuries of hiding his fears and emotions behind his cocky behaviour and constant bragging about his good looks and charm, when in reality he was and always will be terrified of so many things. Losing the people he loves and losing his memories of them were the biggest ones. He hardly opens up to anyone, but once he does he is ready to devote himself completely. And he did that with Emma.

He opened up to her, showed her every part of himslef, from his worst to his best. She knew him better then anyone, she was the person he could tell his day to and he knew she would find a way to make him feel better. Emma was always good at reassuring him.

By constantly reminding himself of the memories he had with her, both good and bad ones, he hoped that they will always stay with him that way.

His thoughts got interrupted by an earsplitting sound the sudden thunder made. Killian immideatly sat up and looked around – the sky was still the same as a second ago and there was no sign of rain anywhere. The thunder got followed by a scream and the sound of something, or _someone_, falling on the ground. _Hard_.

He got up and looked around, only to spot something moving about a 100 yards to his right. It turned out to be some_one_ after all, laying on the ground trying to recover their strength and get up.

He started approaching them and the closer he was, the more the person was able to stand on their own. He first thought he was hallucinating but he was almost dead certain that the person in front of him was a woman that had long blonde hair.

„Swan?"

He whispered to himself at first, still trying to convince himself it's her, and the more he approached her the more he was sure it was her. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to delude himself again and think that's Emma – it happened enough times already.

But there she was, wiping dirt agressively off her jeans, and probably whispering some curse words while at it, and fixing her hair with a quick flip over her shoulder while her bright shirt shined across the meadow. She looked around in fear to see where the hell she was and then froze when she layed her eyes on him.

Killian was looking at her and she was looking at him, and every nerve in his body was more then certain that it's her his Swan. She came back... She kept her promise.

They both stood staring at each other with semi dropped jaws and shock in their eyes. Emma tried to say something but words just wouldn't come out of her mouth.

„Swan? Is that you?"

He repeated again, loud enough so that she could hear him and she just nodded slowly, the wonder on her face faded away quickly and was replaced by a wide smile that turned into a heartwarming laugh. He missed her laugh so much.

While Killian was still standing far from her, unable to move, his brain still trying to process the fact that this was reality, that Emma was standing in front of him and that she started approaching him. Her slow walk became a slow paced run and soon, she was only a few feet away from him.

She jumped, wrapping her legs and arms tight around him and he just grabbed her and pulled her even closer in a bonecrushing hug.

„You OK?"

„I am now."

She whispered tenderly while running her hand through his hair.

„I missed you so bloody much. I was so scared you were hurt..."

He started trailing kisses across her neck and her jaw and started rubbing his hands across her back, trying to savour every moment and every touch. When she stood on her own feet again, Killian finally found the strength to speak. He cupped her face and brushed her nose with his with the most gentle smile on his face and whispered:

„I thought I'd never see you again, love. I thought-"

„Shhh. Look at me... Babe, I'm here. It's a long story but I'm here... I'm back..."

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and then leaned her forhead against his while whispering:

„I told you I would come back to you... It's all good now, alright Killian?"

He opened his eyes and she could see the tear that dripped down his face. She wiped it off with her thumb before it could fall down and stared into his loving eyes as he said:

„I love you too."

That was the only thing he was capable of saying. He didn't get a chance to say it back when she did, it tore him apart, and now it was the most important thing he wanted her to know. He _knew_ she was hurt in some way, God knows where she was and what she needed to do to get back.

He pulled her in for another hug and he sure as hell wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon. He continued running his fingers through her soft hair and she rested her head on his chest.

He whispered:

„I thought I was never going to see you again."

Then he kissed the side of her head tenderly, the warmth of his lips lingered on her skin and in his arms she felt home.

„I thought so too."

She hugged him even tighter and in that moment her voice cracked and she started crying. She suffered a lot, being alone that long... She had too many tears that she held back and no one to hold her while she would let them out. Until now. Now, she had Killian back and she knew he was going to help her recover and that they will get through this. Together.

He pulled her away from him so he could look at her again, she was broken – a mess, just like him. He wiped of her tears and kissed her forhead then hugged her again. He just couldn't stop hugging her.

They wanted to remember this moment and enjoy every second of it. He loved holding her in his arms and comforting her more then anything.

This feeling of safety, of knowing that she is OK and that now he can hold her and kiss and look at her again gave him hope – the one thing that he forgot existed while she was away from him.

Emma Swan is his hope in life, a constant reminder that he can be loved as well, that he can be loved back, and most importantly – she is everything to him that he once thought was lost forever and could never be retrieved.

„We should probably go tell your parents and Henry you're alive and well. They missed you so much, love."

„I missed them too. You've no idea how much I missed you all."

She offered him her hand, smiling, and he took it.

„Let's go."

He locked their fingers tight together and they walked away.

Once Emma explained how she got back – finding a portal back to Storybrooke – everyone was having fun in the small apartment. Henry could barely let go of his mom and Charming and Snow kept asking her if she was OK and if she wanted to rest and how much they missed her.

Killian barely talked. He just enjoyed looking at her again, and being able to sit next to her again, and just hugged her and kissed her andtouched her every chance he got.

When everyone went to bed, the two of them still stayed up. Killian made them some hot cocoa and Emma rested her head on his chest once he sat down next to her and put an arm around her. He threw a blanket over them and they just enjoyed their quiet moment.

„Love, can I ask you something?"

„Sure, what is it?"

„Were you hurt? When you dissapeared to the strange land?"

„Not all the time, some of it. I just woke up in a dark forest... Alone. And I remember being _so_ scared. I was certain I was going to die and there were so many times I wanted to give up, to just stop running and looking for a way out and let myself starve to death. Everything felt pointless. And do you know what kept me going?"

„What?"

„Thinking about you and Henry. All I wanted was to get back to you guys. Whenever I thought I couldn't go on anymore, reminding myself of you two made me realize that I could."

He tilted his head, admiring every inch of her face and smiling at her. He was so damn relieved to have her back.

„And you did. You came back."

„That I did. I tend to keep my promises."

She kissed him and then moved closer to him.

„I missed this."

„I did too. So much."

„I'll tell you the rest of my story in the morning. Let's just sleep now."

„As you wish."

He trailed his hand lazily across her back until she fell asleep in his arms. They slept the whole night like that. Together. Finally.

It felt perfect.

* * *

I know some of you were probably dissapointed when I said I won't continue Insomniac, and that was only because I am aware of my writing capabilites and didn't think my story would make sense if I go multichapter, but I do hope you like this.

Love you.


End file.
